Welly welly welly well. It's been so long since I've posted anything because I basically gave up on thinking anyone read my ramblings but apparently people want to read what I have to say. Or at least...some people....
Today, I took my bitch pill and decided to rant about something that's been bothering me on facebook. AS usual....people have gotten the wrong idea, or a guilty conscience, or just plain offended.
My status read : "Misery loves company.............but I'm too damn busy being happy about the positive to join you on your pity party. You made your bed, lie in it and stop bitching about it"
Then, several people were interested in what the original rant I posted said...so I summed it up : " Hmm, to sum it up, it was saying if the company you keep seems to constantly be suffering and drowning in negativity, trouble, and death then maybe you should stop getting together, drinking, and talking about "the good times" and how you "can't believe they're gone" and how you're going to "forget it, let's party, YOLO!" bc one of you is going to go home bombed out of your mind and you'll just be another notch on the long list of those gone. Have some class, dignity, and respect for yourself and others. Seems like all anyone wants to post is how trashy they are and how trashy the company they keep is. Then they want to complain about it and get my sympathy? No, I don't think so. "The company you keep can determine the trouble you will meet."
But hey, what do I know. I'm just a boring mom who's never had a toe out of line or done things I shouldn't."
Then I decided to just say forget it, I'm going balls to the wall. I wrote what really crawled up my ass and
died : "I didn't originally post how annoying and pathetic it is that people always try and justify themselves by the events that have occurred in their lives. "Well my best friend died" or "my friend committed suicide" or "my friend got hit by a drunk driver" and those are all reasons why they continue to party or act out or whatever (bc that makes SO much sense....) and they constantly complain that those events are why they are the way they are or why they're always depressed....and I want to ask them, well shit how many best friends do you have and why are they all dead? Telling me your son story doesn't tell me a damn thing about yourself other than the fact that you know a lot of dead people. Negative events are never an excuse for anything and they certainly don't warrant any sympathy on my part and they CERTAINLY don't give you a damn reason to always walk around in a shitty mood telling people you're "having a bad day". You wanna complain to me about life? Fine, but I'll punch you in your lazy pathetic little mouth and give you a real reason to complain about pain. Be thankful for the life and friends you have and stop looking for sympathy. There's more important shit going on, I promise!
RANT DONE."
Well, apparently this was just too much for too many people. I'm not totally heartless and insensitive. Last week an old friend passed away in a horrible accident. Her husband survived by the grace of God. I've heard a plethora of stories about how and why and everything in between. It's not my business to know how or why, all I know is that she's gone and I'm sad. This doesn't mean I have to post it on facebook and update my status every 10 minutes reminding everyone that I'm wallowing in depression and self pity. It means I deal with it privately and somehow move forward. I found out my little sister had caught up with this dear friend & she's heartbroken...but I don't see her whining about it. She's acting LIKE A NORMAL PERSON AND BEING PRIVATE ABOUT IT. Why can't people just comprehend what social networking is for!?! It's like they just want to out do each other with their story of misery. They want sympathy I guess?? They want to justify their shitty life and obnoxious actions by saying all the negative events that have happened to them are the reason for them?....I just don't get it.
Life is hard. It isn't easy. It's confusing and sometimes it's cruel....but that doesn't mean you have to just be a miserable person for the rest of your life....
I have a pretty horrible sense of humor. I'm not a fan of sunshine or warm days. I'm not into hugging people and I don't love talking about feelings but for shits sake I at least have the sense to know I'm blessed with a lot of good that outweighs the bad.
At one point, I was a hot mess. I wasn't totally and completely out of control but I was close. I wasn't a crazy out of control, uncontrollable, raging alcoholic....but I was a drunk. I wasn't smart about my life choices and I didn't really care what happened....bc "I have skeletons in my closet I'm not ready to face". How is that any way to live life? I feel sorry for everyone that had to deal with me when I was like that. Being in a toxic self destructive relationship didn't help but my ex-douche is not all to blame for why I was the way I was. I don't really know what's to blame but I know it was a shitty way to live and I figured it out on my own and at a young age. How people can go on with life and be miserable and dwell on shit that happened years ago is beyond me. If you lost your kids, that sucks...you probably did something to suffer that consequence. Your marriage is over, we get it...stop facebooking it...it's awkward and it's personal and I'm tired of watching you facebook fight with your wife like a middle schooler. You have a lot of people that have died...we get it, you partied since you were 16, you're 28, and you've lost a lot of "friends" because all you did was drink and do drugs....what did you expect? It's like watching Scarface or The Godfather....you see where it starts, you know what's coming......so why? Why set yourself up for it? You made your pathetic miserable bed...lie in it and stop bitching on my facebook wall.
It feels good to be back.
