Here comes the bride....FINALLY!

Well ladies and gentlemen....................it's official. The Frank & I are getting married. We set a date. We set a time (unless I change my mind by a whole 30 minutes) and by god we're finally going to "take the plunge" as it were. I know a lot of people are wondering why we didn't get married when had Frankie and some were even more curious when I had Lucy. Well, to be honest, it's no one's business really. I guess wanted to make sure we were committed to each other and not obligated because we had kids together. Every day I get on facebook and see single moms and dads just berate the hell out of the other parent of their child that is no longer in the picture. As much fun as it is to talk an absurd amount of shit about an ex, if you made the choice to have sex, make a child, and decide to KEEP said child, then you should be able to make the choice to stay together for the sake of your kid. If you absolutely cannot work it out, I understand. I get that some people just made a bad judgement call at the wrong time and got screwed figuratively and literally. I understand, but to berate them constantly and vocalize how much of a dead beat they are is sad, immature, and pretty damn destructive to your kid. Let them be the judge when they're older. It's hard to raise a kid but it's harder to raise them with someone you barely know. Not gonna lie, Frank & I were scared when we found out I was pregnant with Frankie, scared because we didn't know what we were doing, didn't know each other as well as we wanted, and didn't know what we were going to do in the future. Over the last 3 years, Frank & I have overcome obstacles no one should have to overcome. We fought hard for our relationship and it's become a beautiful foundation for the little family we have. We're happy together and we're ready to just make it all legal. We're having it in my parents back yard at the ranch. There will be brisket, smoked salmon, Shiner, Lonestar, twice baked potatoes, cupcakes, pumpkin pie, hay bales, burlap, and lace. I'm ready. I'm nervous. I'm happy. I'm excited. 

I'll be Megan Roberts soon....and I hate to tell you, absolutely nothing will change. Frank will still be my soul mate, Lucy & Frankie will still be my soul. But I might be a slightly happier woman after being able to have the gorgeous wedding I've been dreaming of and being able to publicly commit to spending the rest of my life with the most handsome, sweet, amazing daddy to our babies and other half a person could dream of. 

November 21st is gonna be a damn good day....

I'm a big meanie.

Welly welly welly well. It's been so long since I've posted anything because I basically gave up on thinking anyone read my ramblings but apparently people want to read what I have to say. Or at least...some people....

Today, I took my bitch pill and decided to rant about something that's been bothering me on facebook. AS usual....people have gotten the wrong idea, or a guilty conscience, or just plain offended. 

My status read : "Misery loves company.............but I'm too damn busy being happy about the positive to join you on your pity party. You made your bed, lie in it and stop bitching about it" 

Then, several people were interested in what the original rant I posted said...so I summed it up : " Hmm, to sum it up, it was saying if the company you keep seems to constantly be suffering and drowning in negativity, trouble, and death then maybe you should stop getting together, drinking, and talking about "the good times" and how you "can't believe they're gone" and how you're going to "forget it, let's party, YOLO!" bc one of you is going to go home bombed out of your mind and you'll just be another notch on the long list of those gone. Have some class, dignity, and respect for yourself and others. Seems like all anyone wants to post is how trashy they are and how trashy the company they keep is. Then they want to complain about it and get my sympathy? No, I don't think so. "The company you keep can determine the trouble you will meet." 

But hey, what do I know. I'm just a boring mom who's never had a toe out of line or done things I shouldn't."

Then I decided to just say forget it, I'm going balls to the wall. I wrote what really crawled up my ass and 

died : "I didn't originally post how annoying and pathetic it is that people always try and justify themselves by the events that have occurred in their lives. "Well my best friend died" or "my friend committed suicide" or "my friend got hit by a drunk driver" and those are all reasons why they continue to party or act out or whatever (bc that makes SO much sense....) and they constantly complain that those events are why they are the way they are or why they're always depressed....and I want to ask them, well shit how many best friends do you have and why are they all dead? Telling me your son story doesn't tell me a damn thing about yourself other than the fact that you know a lot of dead people. Negative events are never an excuse for anything and they certainly don't warrant any sympathy on my part and they CERTAINLY don't give you a damn reason to always walk around in a shitty mood telling people you're "having a bad day". You wanna complain to me about life? Fine, but I'll punch you in your lazy pathetic little mouth and give you a real reason to complain about pain. Be thankful for the life and friends you have and stop looking for sympathy. There's more important shit going on, I promise!

RANT DONE."

Well, apparently this was just too much for too many people. I'm not totally heartless and insensitive. Last week an old friend passed away in a horrible accident. Her husband survived by the grace of God. I've heard a plethora of stories about how and why and everything in between. It's not my business to know how or why, all I know is that she's gone and I'm sad. This doesn't mean I have to post it on facebook and update my status every 10 minutes reminding everyone that I'm wallowing in depression and self pity. It means I deal with it privately and somehow move forward. I found out my little sister had caught up with this dear friend &  she's heartbroken...but I don't see her whining about it. She's acting LIKE A NORMAL PERSON AND BEING PRIVATE ABOUT IT. Why can't people just comprehend what social networking is for!?! It's like they just want to out do each other with their story of misery. They want sympathy I guess?? They want to justify their shitty life and obnoxious actions by saying all the negative events that have happened to them are the reason for them?....I just don't get it.

Life is hard. It isn't easy. It's confusing and sometimes it's cruel....but that doesn't mean you have to just be a miserable person for the rest of your life....

I have a pretty horrible sense of humor. I'm not a fan of sunshine or warm days. I'm not into hugging people and I don't love talking about feelings but for shits sake I at least have the sense to know I'm blessed with a lot of good that outweighs the bad. 

At one point, I was a hot mess. I wasn't totally and completely out of control but I was close. I wasn't a crazy out of control, uncontrollable, raging alcoholic....but I was a drunk. I wasn't smart about my life choices and I didn't really care what happened....bc "I have skeletons in my closet I'm not ready to face". How is that any way to live life? I feel sorry for everyone that had to deal with me when I was like that. Being in a toxic self destructive relationship didn't help but my ex-douche is not all to blame for why I was the way I was. I don't really know what's to blame but I know it was a shitty way to live and I figured it out on my own and at a young age. How people can go on with life and be miserable and dwell on shit that happened years ago is beyond me. If you lost your kids, that sucks...you probably did something to suffer that consequence. Your marriage is over, we get it...stop facebooking it...it's awkward and it's personal and I'm tired of watching you facebook fight with your wife like a middle schooler. You have a lot of people that have died...we get it, you partied since you were 16, you're 28, and you've lost a lot of "friends" because all you did was drink and do drugs....what did you expect? It's like watching Scarface or The Godfather....you see where it starts, you know what's coming......so why? Why set yourself up for it? You made your pathetic miserable bed...lie in it and stop bitching on my facebook wall. 

It feels good to be back.

Recently

So, I'm gearing up for the arrival of Lucy Avis Roberts. I'm anxious. I'm nervous. I'm excited. I'm determined. I'm ready. I don't know how it will be having a newborn and a toddler with the stamina of 10 toddlers on a sugar high. I'm anxious because I want to meet her. I'm nervous because Frank will have to work shortly after I have her and I will be all alone 2 hours away from family recovering from a c-section on my own. My Granddad is recovering from a stroke & has heart complications hindering the recovery process so sadly, it's a waiting game of how long he can make it...I'm insisting my family stay up there close to him to spend as much time as possible with him instead of with me. It's the right thing to do. I'm excited because I always wanted a baby girl and she has so many damn outfits that are so damn cute I can't wait to see her in them. I'm determined because everyone that has 2 has had nothing positive to say. It's like they had a miserable time so they feel it's their obligation to warn/scare me into being as miserable as they were. Well, eff that. I'm determined to be successful at being a mother of two and I'm determined for everything to go just as it did with Frankie and not experience any postpartum depression or anything and handle things with joy and positive energy like before. 

A lot of people are telling me they love the name choice and are curious where it came from. Well, Lucy came from several things. It came from Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds by the Beatles. Not only are they my favorite band or musicians of all time, I simply have sweet memories of the song as a little girl. I have always loved the idea of flying in a night sky with diamonds as the stars, floating in a small boat filled with soft blankets looking up at pink skies and orange trees. I thought if I ever had a little girl I'd want her to have "sun in her eyes" with bright eyes that could light up everything. If you know me at all, you know I LOVE vintage, the 50's to be specific. One of my idols is Lucille Ball. She named her daughter Lucie but I decided to stick with Lucy with a 'y'. I want to be able to use I Love Lucy memorabilia to decorate as she grows up and I want her to grow up knowing who the CLASSIC women worth learning about are. Avis is an older name as well and since we already have a classic name with Frankie we decided to go ahead and use Avis for Lucy's middle name. Most of you that know me or grew up in Bridgeport know my Memaw Willine. She is the matriarch of the Wood family and the one person in this world I admire the most. She and my Pawpaw were THE MOST amazing, inspiring, kind, godly, wise, strong, resilient people I have ever known.  If I want advice, I go to her. She handles everything with such grace, humility, and kindness. So many people were so disappointed and judgmental when I announced I was pregnant with Frankie. I probably got some eye rolls when I announced I was having Lucy. When I told my Memaw about both pregnancies, she took the news with a smile and the immediate love & excitement. She has helped our little family get it's feet on the ground and she has done so without us asking and against our hesitation because she believes we deserve the best. She has embraced Frank with an open heart and hasn't passed unnecessary judgement on him for any reason like everyone else has. She has not scolded me or treated me with disgust like others have. She has only shown us love and given us words of encouragement. She's truly been a beacon in our darkest hours and for that we decided to take her first name, Avis, and bless little Lucy with it. We want to honor my Memaw and pass down a name that deserves to be remembered. So that my friends is where Lucy Avis Roberts comes from :)

I think I'm ready for this next chapter. If you look at my life in disgust or think "God I'd hate to be her", go fuck yourself. I'm still absolutely stunning for being 8 months pregnant. I'm marrying a gorgeous, devastatingly handsome man who loves me, our son, & daughter more than anything in the world. I have a real man who has busted his ass to provide a good life for us in 2 short years. I met the Romeo to my Juliet, the Johnny to my June, the Pinky to my Brain, the Maid Marian to my Robin Hood (Disney style), the chocolate to my Willy Wonka. I have a GORGEOUS, perfect, well behaved, intelligent, kind baby boy with the sweetest disposition and I guarantee my daughter will be just as gorgeous. No, I didn't go off to some big university to get a piece of paper to feel better about myself. No I didn't manage to stay out of trouble, I did what everyone else has done but I got caught. No I didn't get married first to make all you perfect Christian's more comfortable. No Frank isn't home all the time. No we don't have time to do things for just us anymore. Guess what, I'm fine with that. I'll be around to watch my grandkids have grandkids. I'll be young enough to actually play with my kids and enjoy it. I won't be starting my family at 30. I get to have children and spend years and years with them once they're grown and that is what I want, that is what makes me happy. So if my lifestyle isn't up to par with yours and you think I'm crazy for being happy, fine. This is where we are right now...and we are happy. Happier than you can fathom.

Princess Lucy

So I've been busy with...life...and I have picked out 4 bedding sets for Lucy and I was curious what everyone might think about these that I've narrowed it down to. Keep in mind, I'm eccentric. I'm different. I'm non-conventional. I'm also one for class and elegance. Let me know what you think!

Frank picked this one out. I adore it. It's so bright and adorbs.

This one..........this one makes us think of bubble gum and cotton candy. My princess would look adorable with this bedding.

I like how simple and pretty this one is. LOVE it.

It's purple....and it's fit for a princess.....what's not to love?

Go for it yall, give your opinions.

vaccinations and shitting unicorn wings

So I noticed a semi-heated debate on facebook today over vaccinating your kids. I'm rude and blunt and say what I think so since this is MY blog I'll write what I damn well please. While one mother brings up what seem like valid points on why NOT to vaccinate her very young chitlins, she also sounds really fucking stupid. While those moms that feel vaccination is best, their arguments sound stupid as shit compared to the blur of "medical facts" that "trump" the validity of giving these vaccinations. 

LET ME BREAK THIS DOWN FOR YOU BITCHES.

There was a time, a long long time ago where no one had any medicine. Being a good bit of Native American I'll be the first to say....herbal and alternative medicine is pretty much a bunch of fucking bullshit based on hit or miss incidents with different individuals and most of my ancestors believed in all this herbal shit. Some of it works, and I'll let them have those....but some shit is just stupid. Sure, American Indians are still around but shit they didn't have the largest populations to begin with and I'm sure the lack of medicine in their world didn't help. Another example : Laura Ingalls Wilder. My mother read these bullshit books to me as a kid. All I wanted to fucking do was run around like an ignorant little heathen like those little girls did. Babies died and girls went blind in those books. Anyone remember that? I'm all about being all natural and a peace lovin, tree huggin, organic lovin hippie. I'm not all about being fucking ignorant to the fact that medicine has come a long fucking way from the stupid little house in the big woods or the little house on the stupid disease infested prairie. I grew up a country kid. I played outside. I never wore shoes. I probably ate weird shit I found outside. I was a weird little redneck kid. I had fun but damnit my parents made sure I was always getting check ups. Why? Oh, because that's what you're supposed to do. 

Wait, there's bad shit in those shots I've been getting? I could kill my kid by giving them a shot? What's that? Beth died of fucking Scarlet Fever in Little Women? That's right. A fucking fever. You know why all those diseases from way back when have seemingly disappeared? Because a shit ton of fucking geniuses went to MEDICAL school and they graduated, ergo becoming OUR DOCTORS AND CAREGIVERS. I didn't fucking go to med school. I do what the dr's tell me bc they did. I'm not going to doubt the giant leaps and bounds science and medicine has made over the years because I don't want to risk some mercury?!? Shit I risked a lot more than that when I got pregnant and had the baby in the first place. How many risks come with pregnancy alone?!?! Sure I could give natural water birth to Lucy when she gets here because women for thousands of years have been birthing healthy babies in deserts and fields and wagons....but guess what, it's 20fucking12 and I'm not a Spartan woman. I'm a pansy princess bitch that likes to know my child will be born into a clean sterile environment.

I do not necessarily like all the shit that's in the medicine I've given Frankie that he could be exposed to, but the fact that there is a biological lockdown facility (thank you military and crazy people for creating possible zombie diseases, read here to see this scary shit) for shit like viruses that could lead to mass outbreaks makes me want to give him and Lucy whatever the dr says is best for him. We've reached medical breakthroughs and studied science for a fucking reason. As much as I would love for my kids to get swine flu, yellow fever, salmonella, measles, whooping cough, smallpox, polio and all those other awesome diseases I'll take my chances giving them shit that worked on me....vaccines. 

Dateline (among other things) has made the world paralyzed in fear over just about anything and everything. Basically, nothing is safe anymore. I will not call anyone a bad mother for giving them or not giving vaccinations. I will only loudly explain why I think it should be done. I'm sorry to those I've upset or offended (no I'm not) but if you want to check out some reasons why I'm all for it, check this out. 

Saying that there's no scientific proof that they work however, is the dumbest, most pathetic bullshit thing I've ever heard. Of course they've fucking studied it....of course they've done shit you've probably never heard about and OF COURSE hippies are going to tell you otherwise because hippies are batshit crazy and want everyone to just "chill" and "go with the flow" and "do what's natural". I'm half hippie, I'm down with trying not to ass rape mother Earth, but I'm not down with not taking Tylenol because it could potentially make me shit unicorn wings (see what I did there?). 

Enough about this vaccine bullshit, there's more important things for me to blog about. 

Teen Mom 2.  Jersey Shore.  My birthday.  The awesome cake I made.  Shitting unicorn wings. 

*disclaimer : this blog was written with very sarcastic hateful love. (see I did it again!!)