Teen Mom

So it's time for me to grace the world with my thoughts on Teen Mom. I watched the season premier and let me give you the run down for what I hope to see for each mom throughout the season.

Let's start with the easy ones. Maci. I hope to god this sweet girl can say what I'm thinking and tell Ryan that he can kindly fuck off. He's not been the best example for a parent so I don't think he has a whole hell of a lot of room to judge her for moving in with Kyle (the bf I absolutely adore) and trying to make a stable home for her precious baby boy Bentley. In the first episode, Ryan had the audacity to tell Maci that people wanted to know if Kyle was "slow". This coming from the idiot who is going to coast through life on his decent looks alone. My favorite part about it all? Kyle found out what Ryan asked and his response? Classic. When Maci asked why he couldn't get along with Ryan he said, "Because he's a 3 year old...and so am I right now" and when Maci laughed and asked for a kiss, he quickly responded with "No" "Why not?" "Because I don't know how, I'm slow". These two are my favorite. Maci is trying and she seems like such a damn good mom. Unless she screws it up, she will remain my favorite. I hope she and Kyle move in together and I hope they find a way to make Ryan realize, the time has come to grow up and start moving on as separate people and do it maturely...because that's what's best for sweet little Bentley.

Caitlyn and Tyler...bless their hearts, they have the craziest situation and yet seem to be the most healthy happy ones out of the whole thing. Sure, they're still immature but I have to remember they're still kids. They are somehow coping with having batshit crazy and verbally abusive parents. Adoption isn't easy on a person and since they chose open adoption, they still feel the need to do "What's best for Caylee" on a daily basis even though they don't have her anymore. I really respect that. I hope they do move out and live together...I hope they make it work and show everyone they can do it and I hope they graduate from high school with diploma's. I'm rooting for them!

Farrah. Ughhh...I hope she stops being such a selfish bi-polar little bitch and stops whining about Sophia's dad Derek. He's dead. He died. He's worm food...get over it for cryin out loud! She's going to use his death as an excuse to be a hot mess for the next 3 years...I know it. I hope she stops having such a footface and I hope she realizes that her "modeling" is nothing more than posing behind a cheap local brand's camera at the very best and since she isn't Giselle she won't make enough money to support herself and Sophia...and a gd boob job won't fuckin help a bit. She has a trampy footface and her crying face makes me want to punch a kitten and or puppy. I hope she grows up, gets a real job, and stops being so obnoxious. I'm actually typing with anger at this point and killing my keys so let me go grab a cookie and get my mind off of Farrah.

Annnnnd Amber....ugh. Well, I give her props to dumping the weird creepy clingy guy that was so lame and trying to get her family back together...but lets not forget what all this crazy bitch did when the cameras stopped rolling after last season. She was charged and plead guilty to domestic violence chargers and lost custody of Leah (I can't WAIITTT to see this!) because domestic violence in front of a child is a felony in Indiana. Good. I'm glad. That bitch is bi-polar and bat shit crazy and shouldn't be around her child until she gets help (or sedatives). She ALSO tried to commit suicide last month. She got in yet another fight with Gary (I'm sure over something awesome, like how much he loves her and tried to calm her down and she flipped out) and then took a bunch of pills and was found with a rope around her neck drifting in and out of consciousness. I don't know what the hell to think about her. She's so crazy and mean and absolutely delusional I just think I'll have to wait and see how the season plays out before I bash her to bits. 

Stay tuned guys....this season is gonna be the balls and I can't wait.