Oh Teen Mom....

Alright. This week on Teen Mom, the girls left me speechless yet again with their stupidity, immaturity, and ability to make me want to drive to the ends of the world to save little Leah and Sophia from their batshit crazy mothers.

Catelyn

God bless her little heart. How in perfect hell does she deal with her stepfather/soon to be father-in-law? She wasn't really in this episode a lot which means we missed out on her nutcase mom and her random drug induced outburts. All I have to say about this girl and Tyler is they'd better get hitched and move to the other side of the country stat.

Maci

Oh Maci. My favorite of the girls. So happy she finally got to move in this episode! I'm so curious as to what all life holds for her in Nashville IF Ryan the Doucher doesn't get his parents to hire a lawyer and try to get joint custody of little Bentley. It's so good to see her finally put her foot down and let Ryan know that she's happy now and she's goin to Nashville no matter what he wants. I do wish that all the girls were more vocal at times (minus Amber's big annoying mouth) for example, I kinda wanted Maci to bring up all the points all of us are thinking. Ya know like, "Hey Ryan, you can bitch and moan all ya want but where the hell were you the first year of Bentley's life and why all of a sudden are you trying to shit on my parade? If it's just because your parents want time with Bentley then ok, but why are you suddenly throwing a temper tantrum and pouting when you've done a semi-half assed job being a dad thus far?" I don't get that kid! He miraculously found the balls to act like Maci was being, as he so nicely put it in front of his son, "a selfish bitch" when in all reality, isn't he being the little bitch that's trying to throw a wrench in not just her life, but Bentley's as well? Message for ya Ryan, grow the fuck up, be a man, and work with the woman that birthed that precious boy or just get back to your dumb new girlfriend and keep sittin around your barn/man cave in your stupid lazy boy bitching about things that you only give half a shit about anyways....douche.

Farrah

Oh good LORD this dumb broad just NEVER EVER stops! Please video tape yourself for one day (don't let MTV do it for Christ's sake, I have a feeling they use the BEST clips they can find of you and you're still a hag) and just watch yourself. Just sit down in front of the tv, ignore your baby like normal bc you're awesome at it, and just bask in all your glory. Jesus. Christ. Grow. Up. I want to feel bad for Farrah because she is doing this on her own since Sophia's dad Derek died. It makes you want to sympathize with her and all but then when she actually tries to do one good thing for Sophia by getting some of Derek's social security, she still makes it all about her and just looks like a dumb hag dealing with his sister. I hope to God she never gets rid of her lawyer because that poor guy seems to just get more and more frustrated with her immature bullshit everytime he sees her and has recently been pointing out what an immature selfish bitch she is. Your boyfriend died. Boo hoo bitch, if he'd lived to see what you've become I highly doubt he'd have the patience to put up with your shit and Sophia would still be without a dad. I say this fairly because I've learned throughout my pregnancy that I can be immature and hard to deal with so when you throw in those hormones...shit hits the fan, ergo I learned how to just work with Frank instead of always fighting him and it's worked out great for our little family. Farrah seems to want to fight and argue everyone over everything! Shut up bitch and just do what the ADULTS around you reccomend! And for the love of all things holy, watch your fucking child! Stop leaving her high up and just walking away on your G.D. phone! She's fallen twice, why the hell hasn't someone busted down your door and snatched your baby for safety and hit you in your abnormally large nose? Ugh. I have to stop, I'm getting too upset to continue with the fat one...

Amber.

Amber Amber Amber....you dumb fat bitch, why? Poor Gary....Gary is the guy that got that damn apartment in the first place and yet Amber always calls it her place and tries to kick him out. ??? He's an idiot, I've said it before that he's not all there but damn the guy tries. Oh btw, everyone should know (including Helen Keller) that you don't leave knives out WHEN YOU HAVE A BABY RUNNING AROUND YOUR DAMN HOUSE! God I'm baffled as to how she's even allowed to have a baby? Has CPS seen the show? Should I make the call myself? I'm lost. Anyways...onward with the fat one. Amber also once again let her big beautiful bipolar flag fly high in this episode when she attacked her simpleton blog Gary. She also took a marital arts class to relieve stress!?!?! What the hell is this shit about? If they're always broke and if she wants Gary to work to feed her fat ass (since she won't work at that amazing tanning salon again) then how in the hell did they get the money to pay for those stupid fucking kav ma gra or whatever classes. Seriously? If she's so worried about money then why the fuck is she spending it on stupid shit like martial arts classes? Girl child if you want to relieve your stress how about you admit that you're batshit crazy, bipolar, and manic depressive and get some happy pills to shut you the fuck up and mellow you the hell out. And how about you just keep on "workin out" to keep that all of a sudden trim body of yours in shape. (How the hell did she seriously drop the pounds? Seriously. I'm dead serious because you know that bitch didn't just "work out" or "eat right". No way, no way in hell.) In the sneak peek at next week she legitimately punches the shit out of Gary's face. WHAT. THE. HELL!?!? Their poor child is going to have soooooo many anger issues along with countless others that we can thank Amber for. Sure Gary is worthless and stupid but the guy's heart is in the right place. My heart broke for him when his idiot fat sidekick got serious for once and told him that Amber doesn't love him anymore. That's a bitter pill to swallow but it seems to be the truth. If I was an Amber, Frank would leave me...even if we had several kids...he, like normal people, wouldn't put up with that shit. Get out while you still can Gary!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess that's all I can even try to write about right now...my head's about to explode thinking about it all....

questions? comments? concerns? please share with me how you feel about this nonsense.